Because I said so...that really is the reason.

Because I said so

March 17, 2008

J.Daymon Cole~For my children

 

I am your parent…because I said so

 

I said yes to that responsibility, that joy

I said yes, I do want that girl
And that boy

And so now here you are

So full of light
And I’m here to guide you, and that is my right
Because I said so.

Because I said so

Yes~those words sometimes chafe

But without them, how could I keep you safe?
I know that to you, those words aren’t kind
They seem to do nothing for you, only bind
And I know that right now, you don’t understand
And you feel like I’m always there, holding your hand

And in a way, I am

Because I said so

"Because I said so,"

It turns out, means much more
Than restricting your life or assigning some chore
Because I said so..it’s my job, can’t you see?
It’s the thing that God gave, when he gave you to me

 

Because I said so,

I have watched as you grow
And with every moment, I have had to let go

Because I said so,

I watch as you choose
I must cheer as you win
Console when you lose
I must help you to see that there’s value in both
That both will contribute so much to your growth

Because I said so,

I must hold on, it’s true
But you never notice, when I let go of you
You probably don’t see how it tears at my heart
When I let you go somewhere without me, apart
You probably don’t know, I worry each minute
I can’t wait until I check your bed, and you’re in it!

Because I said so,

I say “No, not today.”
But I also must watch you, as you grow away
I must give you freedoms, before I am ready
I must give you bounds, and that makes my heart heavy
I must know the difference, because you don’t, yet
I must hold firm, I cannot relent

Because I said so,

I must listen to you
I must ask the right questions, I must see them through
I must require accountability,
But acknowledge you’re a child
How best do I teach you...I have such a short while!

All that I want for you is the best

The safest, the utmost, the pinnacle, the crest!
I must remain steady, yet I have to bend
I must be here for you, and I am~without end
Because I said so

Because I said so,

I am grateful for you
For the things that you’ve taught me
The stuff we’ve been through
And the stuff we’ll still go through,
And yes, we’ll survive!
(My parents had ME, and they’re still alive!)

Because I said so,

I will tell you “I love you”
In front of your friends, I will kiss and will hug you
I will fuss and I’ll tease
I’ll correct and appease
And one day, in a mirror, I promise,
You’ll see

Because I said so, that

"Because I said so,"

Is giving, and taking
It’s holding, releasing, healing and breaking
It’s yes, and it’s maybe, and “definitely no!”
Sometimes it’s saying “I tried to tell you so.”
It’s love, understanding, a laugh and a smile
It’s letting you know
You’re worth that extra mile

Because I said so,

It’s my privilege, my assignment
It came to me wrapped up in you:
My consignment.

Because I said so,

You will always be
My treasure, my precious
My child…you see?

Because I said so,

I will watch you with pride
I’ll delight in your changes
I will be by your side
I’ll encourage, I’ll discipline,
I’ll delight as you grow

I will do all of this

But I’ll never let go.

Because I said so.

Sometimes I think that I'm trying "work some magic" with a duct-taped wand...

So Sam and I had to go pick Elijah up from work, and at the top of the 68th Street exit there was a guy with a "Homeless and Hungry" sign. Sam noticed and had a dollar which he wanted to give to the man. I explained that it's better to give food than money, etc, etc, etc... So we decided that after picking Elijah up, we would get the man something and Sam could give him some food. All went according to plan...oh, except for~the guy was GONE. That's when we decided, at 8:30 tonight, to go hunting for a homeless person, armed with good intent, 2 BK Broilers, French fries, a milk, a water, and a banana. We drove in the growing darkness, looking for someone to whom we could give dinner. Did I mention, I have night blindness and wasn't wearing my contacts, and Elijah isn't insured to drive the Vue? Because of my vision, and MDOT, we ended up in the left turn lane at 28th Street and South Division, with nary a homeless person spotted. Our plan had been to look on Division, but we settled on 28th Street and the boys kept looking. NADA. So I thought that maybe if we drove behind Roger's Plaza, we might find someone. Sam's advice when he saw that stretch of pavement? "Don't roll down the windows. I'm serious." And Elijah suggested that we watch for people at bus stops who might appear needy. Sam also felt that anyone walking down the street and carrying a bag would be a likely candidate, but that anyone with a woman would obviously NOT be in need (???). So we drove, for an hour, in a circle. I finally ended up at 36th Street and Division AGAIN, and said, "OK, this is it. Start looking." It was as we approached Brann's, that Elijah and I both spotted him: A thin scruffy man with~yes, that's right~a bag and NO WOMAN. "Hey! Right there! Did you see...?" "Yes! Do you think...?" So we decided to pull into Brann's ahead of where he was walking so that we could further assess the situation. I told Elijah to call it, since I was, by now, unable to see anything at a distance. "There he is!" Elijah cried. "See?" "Yes," Sam and I replied, "Well?" "I don't know," said Elijah. "I can't tell..." The man proceeded to walk RIGHT BY my side of the car, and as he passed my door, and we were trying to decide his housing status or lack there of, and were about to offer him dinner, Elijah wondered aloud, quietly... "What if he's a lunatic?" WHAT IF HE'S A LUNATIC??? Do you see? This is what happens when I try to be a responsible parent and help my children to develop a compassionate sense of caring and social awareness: I drive blindly in a circle for an hour looking for cleverly hidden homeless people to feed, and Poppy and Mom end up eating Burger King at 10:00 pm. The sad thing is, none of what happened tonight is at all, in any way, a surprise to me. We are crazy people. Sigh...