So Sam and I had to go pick Elijah up from work, and at the top of the 68th Street exit there was a guy with a "Homeless and Hungry" sign. Sam noticed and had a dollar which he wanted to give to the man. I explained that it's better to give food than money, etc, etc, etc... So we decided that after picking Elijah up, we would get the man something and Sam could give him some food. All went according to plan...oh, except for~the guy was GONE. That's when we decided, at 8:30 tonight, to go hunting for a homeless person, armed with good intent, 2 BK Broilers, French fries, a milk, a water, and a banana. We drove in the growing darkness, looking for someone to whom we could give dinner. Did I mention, I have night blindness and wasn't wearing my contacts, and Elijah isn't insured to drive the Vue? Because of my vision, and MDOT, we ended up in the left turn lane at 28th Street and South Division, with nary a homeless person spotted. Our plan had been to look on Division, but we settled on 28th Street and the boys kept looking. NADA. So I thought that maybe if we drove behind Roger's Plaza, we might find someone. Sam's advice when he saw that stretch of pavement? "Don't roll down the windows. I'm serious." And Elijah suggested that we watch for people at bus stops who might appear needy. Sam also felt that anyone walking down the street and carrying a bag would be a likely candidate, but that anyone with a woman would obviously NOT be in need (???). So we drove, for an hour, in a circle. I finally ended up at 36th Street and Division AGAIN, and said, "OK, this is it. Start looking." It was as we approached Brann's, that Elijah and I both spotted him: A thin scruffy man with~yes, that's right~a bag and NO WOMAN. "Hey! Right there! Did you see...?" "Yes! Do you think...?" So we decided to pull into Brann's ahead of where he was walking so that we could further assess the situation. I told Elijah to call it, since I was, by now, unable to see anything at a distance. "There he is!" Elijah cried. "See?" "Yes," Sam and I replied, "Well?" "I don't know," said Elijah. "I can't tell..." The man proceeded to walk RIGHT BY my side of the car, and as he passed my door, and we were trying to decide his housing status or lack there of, and were about to offer him dinner, Elijah wondered aloud, quietly... "What if he's a lunatic?" WHAT IF HE'S A LUNATIC??? Do you see? This is what happens when I try to be a responsible parent and help my children to develop a compassionate sense of caring and social awareness: I drive blindly in a circle for an hour looking for cleverly hidden homeless people to feed, and Poppy and Mom end up eating Burger King at 10:00 pm. The sad thing is, none of what happened tonight is at all, in any way, a surprise to me. We are crazy people. Sigh...
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